Ya know how just about all of us do a lousy job at keeping in touch with those we care about (a friend, a family member, a former coworker, etc)? We ALL do it! Some of us are guilty of it most of the time though. I can think of promises I made friends and family members before Ray and I moved to Dallas…well, to the ones who mean the most to me. But I did make it clear that things would change because we would be hundreds of miles apart. That was just a given. And even though I did and/or still continue to remain close to those I love so much, sometimes I think about how it isn’t ever enough. For example, I would rather bring someone flowers rather than pay to have them delivered. When it comes to some people, I think about it daily. I think how I wish I could go see a new movie out in theaters that Mom and I are both dying to see. And in the case of my Granny, I think about how even though I did all I could, it wasn’t enough. And with her, it is too late. She is gone. I will not have a chance to be with her again until I leave this Earth. I guess I made promises to those that I hold so dear, but I haven’t kept in touch as I planned because I didn’t realize that living in Dallas was a whole new world for me/us– in a good way! Ray and I became husband and wife rather than boyfriend and girlfriend. Since we left Louisiana, our canine and feline family has grown by three! Of course, we both have jobs here. We have new friends here. Oh, I could go on and on about our new life. As far as the others (people that I care about but not so much), I never made promises I didn’t intend to keep. And when some of those people ask why I haven’t kept in touch, like everyone else, I have a hard time giving them the real answer. The honest answer is that they have not been high on my priority list – whether that was my choice or not. In some cases, I was no longer around them and realized how refreshing it is! But in most cases, I DO care. I’ve thought about them, but when I ponder whether or not to call or write, I always come to the same conclusion – NO. I wish them well, but I don’t have a desire to be a significant part of their lives or for them to be part of mine. I know that sounds horrible, but those that can’t admit what I’m saying is truth is lying to themselves. And my main point that took me so long to get to (sorry) is those who you KNOW care about you but are just horrible at keeping in touch. As a matter of fact, I think of these people as just poor multi-taskers. They can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. If their wife is sick with the flu, they cannot (or think they cannot) do anything else. I know you know these types of people. And I think it is fair to say that we’ve all been this person at least once. But the truth we all know that this continual behavior it is all bullshit. And if they really believe that they cannot do these things (keep up with a busy job and attend their niece’s first piano recital, for example), that is just their bullshit lies turning into their beliefs! They’ve fooled themselves! I don’t mean getting offended when your cousin can’t drive hundreds of miles to attend your retirement party. Come on, be reasonable. But as far as picking up the phone or dropping a line, EVERYONE is capable. In my personal situation, there are those I am in a friendship or relationship with that share the blame for our not keeping in touch. It is 50/50. In that case, we are equally at fault. But there are some people who will actually have the nerve to say “You haven’t written or called! I was wondering if I’d ever hear from you again!” when you haven’t talked in a while. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! And my response is, “Let me remind you that you have not called or written either, my friend! You still have a mouth, a tongue, fingers, a phone, a computer, etc. right?!” Some of those people are famous for declaring that we need to do a better job at keeping in touch. So, you call that person the next holiday or drop them an email when something big happens in your life or when you have some great pictures from your latest vacation…and what do those people do? NOT A DAMN THING. They don’t return your call. They don’t write you back. NOTHING. And it isn’t like these people are trying to drop you a hint. You know these people well enough to tell how sincere they are when they say how important it is that you keep in touch. Not to mention the fact that it isn’t uncommon for them to call you only when their life is in shambles. OR even worse, they don’t call you even then. You have to hear from someone else that they finally broke free from the job they’ve been with and hated for 20 years…you know, the one they’ve talked to you about for as long as you can remember. Well, as you can probably tell, I am kinda angry with some people in my life. What gets to me is that they aren’t friends or family that I only talked to because they were convenient. Those people kinda fell by the wayside. Instead, these people are so dear to me and as far as I know, I am dear to them. In most cases, these people hold big titles/have big roles. For so long, I’ve tried to make excuses for these people. I think about all the things they are probably busy with and how they intend to keep in touch with me but just can’t do it. I do not do that anymore. Instead, I think of how shitty the situation is but follow that thought with how there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. And it is funny how you end up wondering why you felt your life would not be complete without that person being an active participant. I miss them, but their choice to be absent is out of my control. I guess I feel really strongly about this (like every other topic, huh?), but it makes me sad at times. But overall, it is okay. Call me judgmental…I can’t and won’t deny that. Maybe one day, I will be a complete jerk too. One thing my dad taught me was to “never say never” so I won’t do that. Actually, he said it with a funny tone of voice that sounded more like “Neva say neva”…but anyway! Right now, on the morning of Thursday, February 09, 2006, I will say that I will do my “damnest” not to become such an ass. And if I do start showing signs of such rudeness, inconsideration, and selfishness, please bring it to my attention.
- Don't assume I am referring to you because you think I am hard or wearing my feelings on my shoulders. If you think I could be talking about you because you do a horrible job at keeping in touch and/or because you fit any of the descriptions you gave, you are probably one of the ones I am referring to.
Have a nice day! :)
~"Tish"
(I figure you know who this is coming from, but I don't want to take any chance on anyone not giving me credit for my bold honesty and harshness!) :)
0 feedback:
Post a Comment