I second that!

Ray is so right! (see his blog before this one)

Things are just crazy around our house! The craziness just won’t stop! We are having a hard time keeping up! We can’t give things the necessary attention they need (i.e., the washer, my test, Ray’s tests, etc) because life just keeps spitting in our faces!

My pain is just unbearable. After getting that filling fixed, found out it most likely is not the filling at all. It seems that I am probably having jaw/joint issues. I was referred to a specialist and have an appt next Thursday. Until then, eating soft things and resting on a heating pad is all I can do.

I talked to my grandfather (my dad’s dad) today. He had a hemorrhage in his eye on Tuesday, Valentine’s Day, and also, his wife’s birthday. Because my grandmother is so ill and because my grandfather cannot depend on his lazy, good for nothing children (my father included), he had to drive himself to the hospital. He got 3-4 shots in his eye, which was very painful, needless to say…and then had to drive himself home.

My grandmother has not slacked off on her neediness (I call that SELFISHNESS). My aunt is not calling more often to check on her parents. My uncle is just living his life in Houston and pretends that nothing is wrong. As long as he is "happy" and life is "excellent" for him, it should be for everyone else too. And finally, my father is not even within reach. He is not available by phone. His answering machine no longer picks up at his house, and he doesn’t have his cell phone on (even though he promised his father he would start leaving it on at all times)! I’ll have you know that when my father has an issue, he expects full attention, a shoulder to cry on, a ride to the doctor’s office, etc. But I’ll be DAMNED if you can get the same from him!

Last night, one of our loved ones talked to Ray about our blog. They mentioned that they read the entry about my parents’ anniversary and how I don’t seem angry at my father like they thought I am. I guess that night was one that I was feeling bad for him…because it IS a sad situation. HOWEVER, I am very angry at him! Let me make that clear! I hate the way he treats me, his parents, his family, his dog, and even himself! He just PISSES ME OFF!

In the next breath, I will say I love my dad…but I don’t love him “normally” because HE is NOT normal.

Things have not ever been close to right with my dad’s side of the family. It has always been quirky, but it was bearable. And there were many good times that helped you forget about the bad. And then, a few years ago, my Granny died (my dad’s grandmother). It took no time to see that she was the one that held our family together. Everyone got together because of her. Everyone called and showed concern because of her. Because of her, we celebrated birthdays and Christmas. Now, we rarely or actually never get together as a family….yeah, never have since she died. No one wants to. The only person who I can be around and feel nothing different is my Paw-Paw. Well, I feel a little different cause we both miss Granny so much. But we’re still basically the same people. Everyone else has gotten weirder, ill, more distant, etc. I sure wish my Granny would whip all these low life’s into shape! She made love and warmth pump through the roots of our family tree. When she died, it all dried up. Almost everyone feels cold and lifeless. I know the facts. I know how it all happened, but I can’t make sense of it.

Often, I thank my lucky stars that I have a family, a home, and a life in Dallas, Texas. I love it here. I love our life here. But at the same time, I cannot help but feel so sad that just about everyone back home is sinking in quick sand. And the worst part is that all they do is whine, complain, blame others or unrelated situations, and refuse to fight. I wouldn’t move back to Louisiana for anything. So, all I can do is run home on a quick weekend trip when I can (leave on a Friday night after work, arrive Saturday morning, leave Sunday morning, and get back home Sunday night). The main person I worry about and care so much for is my grandfather. He is just about the only normal one stuck with a bunch of crazies. In the 24 hours or so that I have, I try to make my grandfather’s life a little easier and more enjoyable. I bring him food so he doesn’t have to cook. I try to make him laugh about our family situation (that is how we deal). But I always leave asking myself if I’ve done enough. The answer is always NO, but that is all I can do.

I guess I will wrap up by asking you one question. Don’t you just hate that one “friend” of the family or even worse, that family member who not only makes himself/herself miserable but also makes everyone else miserable too?! IF YOU WANT TO ALLOW LIFE TO DRAG YOU AROUND, DON’T PULL EVERYONE ELSE DOWN WITH YOU! FRANKLY, YOU ARE NOT ONLY A DEAD WEIGHT..BUT YOU ARE EMBARRASSING TOO!

And incase you are wondering, NO, I have not had too many Hydrocodones today! I haven’t even had one! :)

My Granny probably wouldn’t approve of me bad mouthing our family, but I don’t care! I feel like I’m the only one that thinks 100% clear 99% of the time…it is so frustrating!

Closing now. Let me know if I need to start giving my blogs ratings. I guess they can be pretty intense. So, to cover my ass, I will just say READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! :)

~T.T.

P.S. For those of you who may be experiencing something similiar, click here. And if you have not and are not experiencing anything like this, laugh...LAUGH LOUD...cause you might be next! :)