Aunt Polly

Well, I've got some bad news. My dear Aunt Polly died tonight. She's my great-aunt that I blogged about last week. They didn't expect her to make it through that night, but she did. And I even got a report that she was improving. But tonight was the night. Ray and I talked a lot about her after I got the news. It is funny how she was like my Granny (her sister) in many ways...but different from her in so many ways too. Both women were so strong and so loving. But they showed their strength and expressed their love in different ways. My Granny was a tough as a mule but she never let her hard headedness turn into bitterness. My Granny loved life so much. She did not fear dying. She was a believer in going when it was her time and getting to see her loved ones in heaven that passed before her. But in the next breath, she'd talk about how she hoped she would live a long time because she loved her friends, her family, etc. She just loved life. My Aunt Polly was different. She loved many things about life (the list goes on and on), but I think life overall was a disappointment for her. I don't think she's ever been happy with even 80% of it at any given time. I don't want to paint a picture of my Aunt Polly as being mean or gruff. She was only that way if she didn't like you! ;) Otherwise, she was so wonderful and loving to everything and everyone she loved...and I know I was one of those people. And because I was one of those people, she talked to me honestly about things. She hasn't ever been one to hold back her feelings about anyone or anything. Often, I would agree with what she was saying. And sometimes, I felt the opposite. But regardless what the case was, she always kept me laughing with her bold honesty. If she was speaking of a rotten situation, she wouldn't say, "Oh it was horrible". She would say, "It was downright shitty!" :)

So, tonight, while I am very sad that Aunt Polly has moved on, I am happy too. As I said, while she loved people and things about this Earth, it just wasn't enough. I don't think she ever liked life on Earth much. And the older she got, the stronger those feelings got. I just think she wanted to be in that beautiful place called heaven with her husband, her parents, her siblings, and her friends in a healthy, strong body. And tonight, she got her wish.

When I first heard the news, I thought about how dying in the morning hours is so much better than at night. I like to think of a person passing on and being lead through the sunlight. But after thinking about if for a few minutes, I knew why Aunt Polly passed at night (or I have my own interpretation at least). I think my Granny pulled a few strings to have her go at night rather than during the day. #1, so my Aunt Polly's family here on Earth would have a full day with her and so her passing would be peaceful as if she were going to sleep. And #2, for selfish reasons. I'll explain #2 more. If Aunt Polly would've passed in the morning or during the day, there would've been a crowd of people up there all gathered around waiting to see her, hug her, talk to her, etc. But since she passed at night, my Granny was the only one waiting up for her. I pictured my Granny whispering an excited hello to Aunt Polly, grabbing her by the hand, and guiding her to a puffy cloud. Together, they laid side by side, talking and laughing just like old times. I can picture them talking until they both fall asleep. In the morning, Granny will wake Aunt Polly up and bring her to all of her loved ones. For some reason, I picture that Granny was the only one who was waiting for Aunt Polly and that her arrival was a huge, happy surprise to all the others. It is just the most beautiful thought to me.

For fun, I jotted down a few things I know Aunt Polly loved so much. Thinking of these things brings a smile to my face:

headbands, sweatshirts, sweatpants, anything purple, animals (especially cats), "little babies" (as she called them), children, dolls, family, bundling up in cold weather, chewing tobacco (she dipped), and Oprah! :)