My Paw

Well, I have an intro to this blog that you might find very strange. Here it goes:

Yesterday evening, Ray and I decided to go to IKEA. I was feeling pretty spry, as my Granny would say. For those of you who may not know, when I’m feeling good, I’m feeling good! I am talkative, silly, etc! I was laughing a lot, talking loud, etc. Ray said, “Man if we have a kid with half as much energy as you, I’ll be happy!” :) I laughed! He said, “You are a true Barksdale, I swear! You’re so loud and always have something to say!” He wasn’t being mean. To me, it was a true compliment! Most of the time, I have no idea how loud I’m talking or how dramatic I get in conversation…it just happens! And when it is brought to my attention, I think it is funny! :)

When we were driving back from IKEA, I asked Ray if I could use his cell phone. Like always, he said, “You have a cell phone!” And with a smile, I said, “I know, but it is much easier to ask you for yours than dig around in my purse to find mine!” He gave me his cell phone because that is something he couldn’t argue with. I wanted to call my mom. When possible, I enjoy using my cell phone on speaker. I don’t have to hold it to my ear. Second, Ray can participate in the conversation too.

When it started ringing, I switched it to speaker. I could barely hear it ringing! I looked and saw that the volume was turned way down. I said, “Ray, you got the volume on 4! I keep mine on 7! Why is it on 4?!” He smiled and said, “Because I talk to you most of the time!!! I definitely don’t need YOU on 7!!!” :) Again, I laughed! That was funny – and true, I know! I do talk loud. I can be soft when I want to, but most of the time….well, I’m just ME! :)

Some people love their last name because it sounds cool. Ray and I have thought of a few of our female friends who had a cool last name and had to give it up to pick up their husband’s weird or very common last name. That sucks because their maiden name was so cool! Barksdale is an okay sounding last name. It isn’t horrible, but it isn’t super cool sounding either. To me, it is just average sounding. As a matter of fact, it never fit perfectly with my first name, in my opinion. And it was always super annoying when I called a business (especially a local one) and they said, “Barksdale….like the air force base?!” I would say, “Yes, like the air force base”. That would always ensure they got the spelling right. I had this friend in school that would always say, “Letisha, don’t bark at my Uncle Dale’s!” Cheesy, yes, I know! But back then, he got the result he wanted: me rolling my eyes and saying, “SHUT UP!” :)

Being a Barksdale gives me a real sense of pride. It especially makes me feel good when Ray, my mom, my Paw, or whoever says, “That’s the Barksdale in ya!” or “You are definitely a Barksdale!” I LOVE being a Barksdale! I guess my dad is a Barksdale…and my uncle….and my grandmother (only by marriage). But when I think of TRUE Barksdales, I first person I think of is who I know as “Old Paw-Paw”. He was my Granny’s husband. Unfortunately, he died when I was about 2 ½. Needless to say, I don’t really remember him. But my grandfather always tells me he was crazy about me. I’ve heard so many stories about him and have seen him in home videos. From what I’ve heard and seen, he was quite a character! He was very loud and dramatic! One of my favorite silly stories about him is how he would tease my Granny! He would be in one room and would want her to come so he’d yell “MOM-MA!” It was just a real loud “MOM-MA”! He would throw his voice and make it sound funny! Granny wanted to be aggravated by him but couldn’t ever do it! Instead, it just made her laugh! :)

And my Granny was a Cox when she married. The Cox’ aren’t known to be loud, but they are known for being feisty! But after being around her husband, my Granny got the hang of being feisty AND loud when she needed to be! :) Then, they had just one child (my Paw). He is definitely a true Barksdale in my eyes! He is definitely someone who is tough but with heart. It is hard to explain! Since I don’t remember Old Paw-Paw, I think I got my “Barksdale training” from my Granny and my Paw! Oh, and I’m sure some of it came from the genes! :) And as I said before, I don’t even think of the others as true Barksdales. They just baked too long or something! :)

My Granny passed a few years ago. It was so hard for me to deal with. I have made peace with her not being here. With her passing, I gained an angel on the other side, which is what I really needed. She knew that. Fortunately, I still have my Paw. Thank goodness. I don’t know what I’d do without him. Without even realizing it, he still helps me deal with life without my Granny…and it is nice knowing I’m not alone on this Earth with a bunch of goons surrounding us we’ve been instructed to call “relatives”!

Finally, the main point of my blog: My Paw is having open-heart surgery tomorrow. He has to be there at 4:30am for an 7:00am surgery. From what I understand, the surgery will last about 4 hours. And because he doesn’t want me to worry, he hasn’t given me the exact details of the surgery. I just know it is some kind of valve repair. By him not telling me, I am STILL worried and a bit ticked off! But I think he’ll pull through just fine. He has a great attitude. He is tough. I always tell him that even though he thinks he is, he is NOT a mack truck! :) But as my mom said, it is better for him to be extreme in the way he is rather than be the opposite extreme – afraid of everything (like his wife).

I will not be there with my Paw for his surgery. He said he doesn’t want me to be, especially since I’m pregnant. He knows I’m not really up for a whole lot of traveling. But since I’ve found out about his surgery, I thought about how wonderful it would be if I could be there. I’d love to be there when he wakes up. But I won’t. I have made peace with this by thinking of all the times I have been with him – starting way back when until fairly recently.

I cannot think of a time that I didn’t enjoy my Paw’s company. He and I just connect. You can see it in the following pictures:







~"Tish"