A 3rd surgery for my Paw

My Paw called me last night to tell me that he is scheduled for surgery this morning. He has been having difficulty breathing. Well, the reason is because his heart is surrounded by fluid. According to his doctor, this happens to about 30% of patients who go through the surgeries he had. He sounded horrible on the phone last night. As a matter of fact, he didn’t have enough breath to finish his sentences. I had to take my best guess at what he was trying to tell me. My Paw was very frustrated at his situation, which is completely understandable. He said something about “every day bringing new turmoil”. I called my uncle because it worries me that my Paw is not only physically beat down but also mentally. When he is madder, frustrated, etc, his heart beats faster. Therefore, he breathes harder, which he cannot do right now. Really in truly, getting upset just works against him at this point. My grandfather was not expecting a major complication from his surgeries. But he is not only frustrated about his situation.

My grandmother was taken directly from the hospital to a rehabilitation institute last week. The doctor said she needed to go there to build her strength up. He hoped that sending her there would help her with walking, dressing herself, etc. She needs to do those things by herself anyway, but especially since my grandfather is not able to care for her the way he has been for years. Of course, her progress depends on how much effort she puts forth. I think she is doing okay there…I mean, she is still there. But I don’t think she is doing wonderfully because she complains rather than tries. In some ways, she reminds me of a kid. But unlike kids, she doesn’t want to grow up. She wants to be completely dependent on others. She asked my dad not to leave her side, and he hasn’t. He has been at the rehabilitation center with his mother 24/7 for a week or so. My grandfather is so thankful that my dad is willing and able to do such. Honestly, if he wasn’t there with her at all times, I think she would’ve pitched a fit to go home by now. If I didn’t know much about her besides being an older lady, I just might feel sorry for her. But I know how she is…she has always been that way. And I do NOT feel sorry for her. I do, however, feel sorry for my Paw. As I’ve said before, I know my Paw’s recovery is hindered by the load my grandmother puts on him. Right now, she may not be physically demanding, but she is emotionally wearing. I know she loves him, but her selfish ways are so far from loving.

I just called the hospital for an update. The nice lady answering the phone in the patient waiting area told me that my Paw is out of surgery and is in recovery. He will be there for an hour or two before being assigned to a room. I was also told that his caretaker, the nurse he hired, is not there right now. She had to leave for a while. I hope she left to get or do something for him. I think about my Paw there by himself. No family or friends are there. I feel terrible about that. I’ve been through several surgeries myself. I know how good it feels to hear that my mom or my husband is waiting to see me. Like Ray said, this is a time when his wife should be there for him. But of course, she isn’t. She’s too wrapped up in getting the attention she wants and feeling sorry for herself.

I will post later when I find out more…