A fresh start

A few days ago, I turned in my resignation at Zale (CAN I GET A “HELL YEAH”?!?!). I have been searching for a new job for oh, about a year now! But I didn’t get serious until a month or so ago. I was looking for another admin job but for an employer/business I believe in. I appreciate jewelry – particularly jewelry that has been in my family…and I like pretty stuff, but I am not at all crazy about it. It just isn’t my thing. It has sucked knowing that 8 hours of my day, 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year is for nothing but selling jewelry. While getting a paycheck has been nice, I have come home for a year and a half feeling so empty. And as you ALL know, my workplace is a zoo. My coworkers are escapees from a psych ward, I’m convinced. But I must say that I have had a moment with just about everyone I work with that I wish would’ve lasted. I’ll get back to this in a minute…

I got a job that I feel passionate about. I will be working at the UTD BrainHealth Center. I am pretty jazzed about it! Jewelry – poo. Brain research – interesting and life changing. I decided to give Zale a short notice (a little over a week) and have a week to myself before starting my new job. Doesn’t sound too bad, does it?! It works out because my mom will be here for a few days during that week and then Ray plans to take a day off to spend with me. And the other days….well, they’re all for ME, MYSELF, and I! I must say that my week long break cannot come soon enough!

After some contemplation, I decided NOT to tell my boss (or anyone at work) that I have a new job. I just told them that I am going to take some time off (I’m not lying) to figure out what path to take next. It went over very well. I don’t have to hear my stupid boss’ hot air she likes to expel. For the most part, I’ve gotten nothing but positive responses about my decision to leave. I know for a fact that some of these people wouldn’t mind leaving themselves! I can tell that one person in particular is happy for me deep down, but is showing me some attitude (i.e., With one eyebrow up, she says, “I guess only you know what is best for you”). And some are just downright nice. My coworker, Gwen, has come by several times to tell me how much she will miss me and all the help I give her. As a matter of fact, she started whining! I said, “Oh don’t be silly”, but I was really thinking, “Yeah, you actually have to do WORK now!” And the final person I must talk about is the coworker I’ve talked about on this blog…you know, the one that has so many troubles (attempted suicide last fall, etc). It is great that he was able to be saved, but I know that life is still very difficult for him to face every day. He is a very nice, intelligent, creative, colorful person who is dam good at what he does. I have a huge amount of respect for him. But as I’ve said before, working with him can be very difficult at times…because he is so troubled, so medicated, etc.

A few months ago, he and I were two of the people chosen for a Make-A-Wish fundraising event that Zale does a few times every year. When the project got kicked off, we were dividing up tasks. He volunteered to ask a local costume shop to donate some costumes for our function. He said he would drive to that place the following day. When he asked who wanted to go with him, I said I would. I must admit that I didn’t know what to expect while we were alone in a car together for about an hour total. But the happenings during our time together are forever burned in my mind. That day, I learned so much about him. I learned that he too has a troubled father who he just can’t understand. I learned that he lived in Chicago and did a lot of theater – acting, writing, and directing. We had a great time that day. We drove to the costume shop, stayed there for a while, stopped at Wendy’s (his absolute favorite fast food restaurant), and then came back to work. I think we were gone about 2.5 hours, but because it was work related, no one said a thing. When I got back to work, I wrote him an email to thank him for talking to me and listening to me. I told him how much I enjoyed our time together. He wrote me back the sweetest email telling me the same thing but in a much deeper way. It was a beautiful email. Even though he has been difficult to work with since that special time we shared, I will say that I now find it a little easier to put up with all that he dishes out. Sometimes it is frustrating when I come in to work, say good morning to him and he doesn’t say a word…and then the next morning, he comes to my desk to tell me good morning and ask me how I am doing. When he frustrates me or others talk to me about how wrong he is acting, I acknowledge it but refuse to get swept away by it. Instead, I think of that guy that talked to me for two hours that day.

After I told my boss that I decided to leave, I sent out a generic email to everyone telling them the news. I thought about writing personal emails or notes to everyone then but ended up deciding to wait until my last day. The guy I was talking about above is slow about opening his email. Finally, the next day, he came over to talk to me about it. He talked to me for about 10 minutes. Of course, he told me the usual “congratulations”, but he told me something else very interesting. He said, “Tish, have you heard of a divining rod?” Very interested in his stories (when he wants to tell them), I said, “No, what is that?” He said, “I guess it is kinda like a weegie board type of thing…not all people believed in them. They used them way back in the day, but I even remember them being used some when I was a kid.” Not having any clue what he was talking about, I said, “What is it though? A divin-ing rod?” He said, “Yes, a diving rod. I think they also called them dowsing rods. People would cut a Y shaped branch off of a tree. They walked with the two ends, one in each hand, with the third end pointing ahead. And supposedly, the pointing end turns down when water is found.” Fascinated, I said, “Oh really? Wow. That is pretty neat. Did it really work?” He said, “Yeah, I think it did. There were people who believed in it and used it to find a well. I remember seeing them walking with those diving rods.” I said, “That is neat…” He said, “Well, I’m telling you all this because when I read your email about you leaving here in search of your next path, I thought of a divining rod. I thought of you just being led down the right path…just following your heart like a divining rod”. His unique and caring ways of thinking made me warm inside. It was so sweet and thoughtful. It was special.

Then, this morning, I get an email from my coworker friend. The subject reads “A Poem for U!” If it were from anyone else, I’d think it was a corny joke, but since it was from him, I really believed it just might be an actual poem. I know how creative this guy is! I was right! I opened it up and this is what I read:

T'anX, Lady Tse!

You so fine
at what you do.
Bu'tcha givin' up the grind.
I get the clue.

Climb out n' bloom!
Is that the drill?
Not runnin' from nuttin'!
Just livin' the thrill.

You movin' on
to find yo' dream.
Befo' time gone.
Befo' you scream.

Look inside Yo' se'f
an' think it thru.
You'll figure it out;what your meant to do.

Isn't that poem just something else?! I love it! I KNOW that it will be my best "Congratulations"/"Good luck"/"Take care"/"You did a good job"/"We'll miss you" ETC wish/gift from anyone I work with. :)

I've had kinda a rough week, but my usually difficult coworker friend made my week wrap up nicely. For that, I am thankful. :)

~"Tish"