Buyer beware!

In X'mas of 2001, Tish and I got the most expensive X'mas gift ever... a house. After driving all around town (or where we knew to drive) and found nothing we liked, we made an offer (full price) on a cute house. Tish and I described it as “Pottery Barn like”. For someone who is newly married, just out of school and new to a big city, having a house like that was a dream. We did not care that the lawns had no grass, house settled a little, outlets weren’t all updated, broken fence, windows were painted shut, old A/C…. we justified it by saying that it was a “older home with character” and a “starter home”. Well those words came back and bit the living crap out of us.

Immediately after we moved in, we installed a new 8’ tall fence (board on board to match) for over 3 grand. We hired landscaper to haul in new soil and grass, front and backyard. We thought that was all we had to do for the house… Since then, we have:

Installed 2 new exterior faucets.
Completely renovated the master bath.
Replaced 2 ceiling fans.
Replaced a toilet
Replaced a hot water heater
Cut down one tree and trimmed back several
Haul off old trash/shrubs in back alley (hired someone to)
Repaired roof
Repair a water leak that cost us over $1000 total
Replaced a broken window
Removed bees from a tree
Repair a window lintel that was leaking during rain
Painted several walls
Installed new door to create a 3rd bedroom
Purchased outdoor shred for more storage (good thing we had help)
Replaced nasty kitchen floor with porcelain tiles
Replace shower fixture in front bath
Reworked flower bed
Installed lights in living area

I am probably missing a few more things…but all that work happened within the last 5.5 years! The thing is, in order to sell this house (which we are looking to do as soon as $ allows), we have to put more money in. We are looking to put in new carpet, new flooring and walls in the front bathroom, and a few other things. This will cost us another 2-3 grand. Hopefully our gazillion year old A/C and electrical system will last until we list the dam thing.

What does this all mean to us? We will NEVER EVER buy another “older home with character”. Both of us rather live in the most basic builder home out in the boon-docks, as long as the house is new or within 10-15 years of age! Unless you are a handyman or love to learn how to fix things or rich, buying a old home is retarded. RETARDED I say!

Tish and I are so looking forward to living a normal life in a normal home in a normal neighborhood. We often tell ourselves that we don’t ask for much… these are things we want, you be the judge:

A yard that has grass for our dogs and G to run around in, and no flying caterpillars flying down daily.
No humid crawl space that makes our wood floors warp and our sinus miserable
A/C that is not as loud as a power plant
A decent looking floor and no wallpaper in the bathrooms
Updated electrical that has 3 hole plugs
Doors that shut
Locks that lock
A REAL front door
Comfortable carpet
Electrical system that does not die every 3 months
Sprinkler system
No large cracks on the house, exterior and interior
No village of stray cats colonizing between ours and our neighbor’s yard.
No low-riders booming while driving by
More neighbors who speak English
Without 20 trees that have leaves and flowers falling every change of season
No cracked drive way that collects water
No back alley that serves no purpose
Fan/vent in bathrooms
Windows with screens that open
Kitchen cabinets that is not warped
Kitchen sink sprayer that works
No/little foundation problem
A REAL attic

Is that too much to ask for this X’mas?

Stepping off my soap box,

Ray